18 August 2004
JL sale is on again. was suppose to go but decided not too. maybe will stay home tmr than can go to the Jl sale. haha. i'm so tired now. just came back from simpang bedok. had nasi braiyni. was alright and i had the ice cream at the ice cream galery jus not. :) not bad. had strawberry cheese cake. 2.80 (: feeling so stuffed now. dont feel like having dinner.Aiya. anyway im so tired. i really duno what to do already. i don't like people deciding for me what will be better for me and what not. I don't see how you can decide for me who i will be happy with. Makes me sound like i only can be happy when i'm with who who and who. Who are you to decide for me what and who i will be happy with and come up with the assumption that I would rather be with blah blah blah. And say that i would rather forsake some friendship. What makes you so sure! What makes you so sure lah. YOU always think that IM like that but IM so NOT. like until now you duno that YOU were always my BESTFRIEND like that. i do anything for YOU. and what ever i do i only do it for YOU! and now u are saying this. I'm not trying to blame anyone or anything. I just really don't know what to do anymore lah kay. i really don't. i don't know what you want. I dont know what any one wants anymore. And this time i'm don't think i'm going to try know. I'm just too tired to do anything anymore. There are like a million things going on in my "life" how am i suppose to find answers for all of them! I can't organise my time and I'm freaking tired to try to understand everyone everything and every situation thats going on in my life! call me selfish / self centred or what so ever. But im REALLY REALLY tired. This whole year is freaking curse. 9452167210328564 things have gone wrong! i'm suppose to try to get over every single thing? im suppose to find answers to all the 9452167210328564 things that are upside down in my life! I'm really moody today and might just blast at anyone who will give me the chance to! I have gangsterish thoughts now. i dont see how simple things cant be understand how everyone must look and things so complicately !! cant everyone jus forget and move on!! no body will know how fucking frustrated im now lah!! fuck fuck fuck. ihave visitors!! im not in a mood to talk to them lah! fuckers. cant they jus leave me alone..fuckers..
to be continued..
suemay
not all rainbows and butterflies.
sm at 5:19:00 PM